Since setting up my blog a couple of years back, I’ve covered a fair few events round south Manchester – festivals, exhibitions, gigs…But I’ve always taken it for granted that I could hear what I’m supposed to be writing about. Not any more.

Over the weekend, I went along to South West Manchester Cricket Club to review five acts performing at the Chorlton Comedy Showcase as part of Chorlton Arts Festival 2013. At a rough guess, I probably only caught a quarter of the show. And not because I got there late or because I had too much to drink (though both have happened in the past…).

So what went wrong?

Put simply, it was just too noisy. Fair play to the Manchester PR people tasked with publicising this event because they did a stellar job, to the extent that you could barely get through the door for most of the night. Unfortunately the constant stream of people making their way to the bar and back created a near-impenetrable wall of sound.

Now we can all forgive the odd hushed exchange, but people were literally shouting across the room. True, it was a Saturday night and half the crowd weren’t there to watch stand-up (some watched Eurovision on the big screen instead!). However, the fact that members of the audience and even the acts themselves were making incessant pleas for quiet told its own story.

Oh yeah, what of the acts?

It feels strange reviewing comedians when I couldn’t hear most of what they said, but what the hell. First up was Edinburgh Fringe Festival alumnus Joshua Seigal:

His confident delivery allowed him to hold his own against the noise, even though his aggressively intellectual poems didn’t always connect with the audience.

Next was Sam Smith. I honestly couldn’t hear any of his set so let’s move on.

The standout performer on the night was act number three, Phyllis Von Hoist (see top-right photo). As the only one to keep the crowd quiet, she deserved a medal. But this hilarious portrayal of a deluded girl from Salford – convinced her calling is to teach women to behave like ladies – was character acting at its best and will surely get the rewards it deserves.

Fourth on was Daniel Hutchings:

He bounded in after the interval with a Beatles cover that, as I’m sure you can see, was hard to ignore. But the rest of his set struggled to keep the crowd’s attention as the lure of Eurovision proved too tempting.

The final act, The Tourists, only fared marginally better. Despite being filled with surreal sketches that were funny in isolation, the set clearly hinged on how the skits joined together to make a complete story – and I’m afraid I couldn’t hear enough of that to judge whether it worked or not.

It’s important to point out that this venue is staging other events at Chorlton Arts Festival 2013 so I really hope it gets the sound issues sorted. Maybe staff could ask people to keep quiet, or turn up the volume on the sound system (and move back the speakers so everyone can see). Failing that, at least the next acts won’t have Eurovision to contend with!

So there you have it – a review of an event I couldn’t hear. Turns out it is possible after all.

This month, I thought I’d broaden my horizons and try a festival further afield. Well, I say further afield, it was only Sale. And not even proper Sale, but the Jackson’s Boat pub on the banks of the River Mersey, only a 20-minute walk from the centre of Chorlton.

Bicycle Village 2013

The festival in question was Bicycle Village, which took place on Saturday, 11 May 2013. Now Bicycle Village is a free annual event organised by Arek Bartnickaz, founder of the Bike Barn – an independent Manchester bike shop nestled right next to the Jackson’s Boat pub. And if you haven’t guessed already, cycling very much takes centre stage.

Just like last year, the 2013 Bicycle Village festival had a variety of things going on in the spacious beer garden of the Jackson’s Boat pub – cycling stalls, live bands, a bicycle jumble, quirky bikes, face painting and a charity auction of refurbished bikes to raise money for Simply Cycling and the Children’s Adventure Farm Trust. I particularly enjoyed making my own smoothie on the pedal-powered smoothie makers over at the Manchester Friends of the Earth stall.

It’s not a big event by any means. But it’s a good excuse to walk over to Jackson’s Boat, which for my money is one of the best pubs in south Manchester. Here’s hoping Arek Bartnickaz and the Bike Barn decide to organise another Bicycle Village in May 2014.

Bike festival photos

I’ll leave you with a few photos I took at the 2013 Bicycle Village festival in Sale:

Without further ado, then, here’s my Chorlton Festival Calendar 2013:

Chorlton Arts Festival 2013

17 May – 26 May 2013

The largest festival in Chorlton, Chorlton Arts Festival returns for 2013 with another packed schedule. This time round, there are more than 100 events taking place across countless venues, many of which are free to attend.

It’s being opened by an evening with John Bramwell (I Am Kloot) hosted by DJ Dave Haslam. And the Chorlton Weekender returns to close proceedings – the mini-music-festival-within-a-festival runs from 23 – 26 May 2013.

Horse & Jockey Summer Solstice 2013

21 June 2013

Despite being bought by Manchester brewery giant Joseph Holt in October 2012, the Horse and Jockey pub still seems intent on staging as many free local events as possible. Besides monthly farmer’s markets and craft fairs, live music nights and book clubs, it’s also putting on occasional events like the Horse and Jockey summer solstice 2013.

This year, the festival has been rebranded the Chorltonbury Summer Solstice 2013 and promises stilt walking, Egyptian dancers, a psychic grotto (me neither), stalls, a barbeque and a fire dance that will have to go some to top last year’s incredible show.

Chorlton Coffee Festival 2013

28 – 30 June 2013

An exciting new addition to the Chorlton Festival Calendar, the Chorlton Coffee Festival is a three-day celebration of everyone’s favourite caffeinated drink. Well, I’m more of a tea fan personally although I think that gets a mention too.

Lots of cafes and bars are taking part, and some will be putting on special activities like poetry readings, comedy gigs and live music. Everything centres on Chorlton Central Church, aka the Chorlton Coffee Festival HUB, which is being transformed into an exhibition space on Saturday, 29 June 2013.

Chorlton Beer Festival 2013

5 – 6 July 2013

Officially known as the 9th Chorlton Beer and Cider Fest, Chorlton Beer Festival 2013 is basically a two-day drinking session at St Clement’s Church.

It’s organised by the Trafford and Hulme Branch of the Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA), which is promising more than 80 real ales, 40 ciders and perries, and lots of foreign bottled beers. There’s usually food and live music too. Tickets are available on the door and they’re about £5 if memory serves.

Update: John O’Donnell, press and publicity officer at CAMRA (Trafford and Hulme branch), tells me it’s now looking like Chorlton Beer Festival 2013 will have at least 90 beers. This year, there’ll be 10 per cent more beer and 25 per cent more cider and perry. He also confirms tickets are £5, including the glass. Oh, and the festival’s jointly organised by CAMRA (Trafford and Hulme branch) and St Clement’s Church. (21 April 2013)

Chorlton Green Festival 2013

7 July 2013

Also called the Beech Road Family Fun Day 2013 but beyond that I don’t know much more about this one.

When Beech Road Festival 2012 was cancelled, a smaller family-oriented event sprung up to take its place. This was the Chorlton Green Festival, and I believe it’s on again this year. Incidentally, the festival’s nothing to do with Chorlton’s Big Green Festival (see below).

Update: Chorlton-based event organiser Bernard Leach has kindly provided some more information about this. The festival takes place across Chorlton Green, Beech Road Park and Beech Road, which will be decked out in bunting for the occasion.

It’s hoped there’ll be a tug-of-war contest, hula hoopers, salsa dancers, a choir, a steel band, a tombola, stalls and street food available. In keeping with the family-friendly theme, there won’t be any live bands or alcohol sold on the street – but you’ll still be able to buy drinks as normal in the bars and pubs along Beech Road. (21 April 2013)

Unity Children’s Festival 2013

8 September 2013

The Unity Children’s Festival 2013 is a free event taking place at Beech Road Park.

Backed by Chorlton U Decide and Friends of Beech Road Park, it’s the brainchild of not-for-profit community group Unity Arts. The focus is on introducing children to the arts – there’ll be professional artists and qualified community arts and youth workers around, and plenty of opportunities for kids to get in touch with their creative side.

Thanks to Colette for bringing this one to my attention.

Chorlton Book Festival 2013

15 – 23 November 2013

The Chorlton Book Festival takes place over 10 or so days around the time of the Manchester Literature Festival, which this year runs from 7 – 20 October 2013.

Organised by Manchester City Council and local volunteers, it promotes the written word through free workshops, author readings, talks and poetry contests.

Update: Sue Moores, south neighbourhood manager at Manchester City Council, informs me that this year’s Chorlton Book Festival runs from 15 – 23 November 2013 (14 May 2013)

Chorlton Bonfire Night 2013

5 November 2013

I’ve not heard anything specific about how Chorlton will be celebrating Guy Fawkes Night this year, but there’s always something going on.

Both the Beech Inn and the Horse and Jockey had free bonfires last year, and it’s a fair bet you’ll be able to buy a toffee apple with your pint again in 2013.

Chorlton Christmas Lights 2013

5 December 2013

Also called the Chorlton Traders Festive Lights Switch On 2013, this is another free event.

Expect carols, camaraderie and, well, Christmas lights.

Horse & Jockey Winter Solstice 2013

December 21 2013 (probably)

It’s still early days so I’ve not heard anything about this yet.

But bearing in mind the Horse & Jockey is running something to celebrate the summer solstice, it stands to reason there’ll be a winter solstice party too.

Chorlton’s Big Green Festival 2013

Cancelled for 2013

Chorlton’s Big Green Festival is taking a year off because, in the words of the website, “we need to take a well-earned breather”. The hope is that it’ll return in 2014.

Don’t do what everyone else does and get your dates mixed up with the Chorlton Green Festival (see above).

Beech Road Festival 2013

Cancelled for 2013

As far as I’m aware, the Beech Road Festival is gone for good.

Severe overcrowding in 2011 prompted the organisers, Chorlton Traders, to cancel in 2012. Sadly, I’ve not heard anything to suggest there’ll be another in 2013.

Update: I’ve removed the listing for Chorlton Park Festival 2013, aka the Chorlton Park Summer Fair 2013. Organisers stated on EventBrite that this festival would take place on 13 July 2013. But Sue Moores, south neighbourhood manager at Manchester City Council, tells me that the event is not booked in the park. (14 May 2013)

Important note: If anyone spots something that needs changing in the Chorlton Festival Calendar, or has suggestions for other Chorlton festivals that could be included, let me know in the comments below and I’ll look into it. Cheers!

A couple of weeks back, I started work at Insider Media. It’s a business-to-business media company based in Manchester that runs events and publishes various magazines across the UK – magazines like North West Business Insider.

I’ve taken up the post of digital staff writer. Basically my role involves sourcing and writing exclusives for daily newsletters, covering subjects like mergers and acquisitions, funding, manufacturing, property and – well – business. In other words, business journalism. It’s still early days but I’ve really enjoyed the job so far and I’m chuffed to be putting my journalism training to some use.

Anyway, I’m working full-time so I’m not going to be accepting any copywriting, SEO copywriting, proofreading, copy editing, PR or social media marketing freelance work in the near future. I’ve got more than enough on my plate already! However, I’ll still be keeping this website going, and I’ll still be posting blogs here whenever the mood takes me. So the same as before really.

It’s been a crazy few weeks, it really has. Little over a month ago, I came back from South America with nowhere to live and (almost) no money. Now I’m renting a great flat in Chorlton and I’ve got a fantastic job in Manchester city centre. I’m still not quite sure how everything sorted itself out so quickly – just lucky I guess.

Not that I’m complaining…

For the last 6 months, I’ve been traipsing round South America with hardly a care in the world. First up was Peru, followed by Bolivia, Chile, Argentina, Uruguay, Paraguay and Brazil. Along the way, I was fortunate enough to be able to see everything from the Amazon rainforest and the Inca Trail to Patagonia and Rio Carnaval. It was amazing.

If you’d like to read more about that, you can now follow the whole story on my frostythenomad travel blog. I’ve tried to keep things practical on the off chance you’re thinking of doing something similar, so I’ve limited myself to 1 post per country, each covering things like my ratings out of 10, daily budgets, top 3 experiences, random facts and final impressions. There are loads of photos to gawp at too. I hope you find it useful, entertaining or – if I’ve done it right – maybe even a little bit of both.

So what’s next?

As I write this, I can already feel myself being assimilated back into the Manchester way of life. I’ve found somewhere to live in Chorlton (of course) and things are looking up on the work front (more on that soon). I’m also busy catching up with old friends and making plans to visit all the new restaurants, bars and cafes on my doorstep.

Part of me was worried that if I went to South America, I’d never leave. Well yes, it was fantastic, but when you’re talking about finding somewhere to get settled and put down some roots, Manchester’s hard to beat. The overall standard of living here really is as good as I’ve found anywhere.

With a bit of luck, then, I’ll be staying in Manchester for a good while yet. It’s nice to be home.

As some of you know already, I’m going travelling again soon (Saturday!). The plan is to go to South America for 6 months, taking in the main sights of Peru, Bolivia, Chile, Argentina, Uruguay and Brazil along the way. If you’d like to read about that, check out my travel blog.

Otherwise, I’ll be returning to Manchester in February 2013 (money permitting). So at the risk of signing off with a quote from Gary Lineker, see you after the break.

Yesterday was the eighth annual Chorlton Beer Festival at St Clement’s Church, run by CAMRA (Trafford and Hulme branch). Alarmingly, I’ve realised this was my fourth festival in a row. And the 2012 instalment pretty much followed the same format as all the others.

Ciders and perries and beers – oh my!

So there was a choice of over 100 different beers, ciders and perries on draught (82 beers, 25 ciders and 15 perries to be precise). There was a nice mix of golden ales, bitters, milds, porters and stouts – some of which had been specially brewed for the festival. And there was a point when they completely ran out of everything.

Serial festival-goers will know that Chorlton Beer Festival has a habit of running dry. To be fair, they managed to keep going till 845pm on Saturday (officially, the festival finished at 10pm), which was much better than previous years. All in all, they sold a staggering 8,000 pints over 2 days – more than ever before – which one of the organisers told me was as much as they could physically fit into the church. So I guess we’ve got to let them off on that one.

Tasting times

Nevertheless, there were a few things missing this year that I’d love to see introduced in future:

• Tasting notes for ciders and perries – As a keen cider drinker, I was disappointed to find there were no tasting notes for ciders and perries again. While beer drinkers could revel in pretentious descriptions like ‘Pale refreshing juicy asparagus nose. Celery and nuts give way to refreshing bite at the end’, we were left with nothing more than a number from 1 (very sweet) to 7 (very dry).
• Master-classes – CAMRA’s full of passionate beer experts. Why not ask a couple of them to run workshops to teach people more about what they’re drinking? After all, it works brilliantly for the Manchester wine festival.
• More food options – Why are Tampopo and Kro Bar the only caterers year-on-year?

Minor gripes aside, I really enjoyed the 2012 Chorlton Beer Festival. Not least because the rain stayed away for the whole of Saturday (let’s not talk about Friday…) and most of the day was spent basking in glorious sunshine.

Update: Soon after this post was published, John O’Donnell, press and publicity officer at CAMRA (Trafford and Hulme branch), responded to some of the points raised above. His answers are very interesting but quite long, so I’ve cut them down slightly:

Chorlton Beer Festival photos

I’ll leave you with a few photos I took from a sun-drenched Chorlton Beer Festival:

For a short time only, Oddbins becomes an art gallery, the Beech Inn hosts an awards ceremony and some bloke’s back garden becomes a sculpture park. St Clement’s Church on Edge Lane is no exception. Many people will have been to one-off events at St Clement’s Church – after all, it’s the home of Chorlton’s Big Green Festival and Chorlton Beer Festival. But this year, it’s staging no fewer than four gigs in four days as part of Chorlton Arts Festival’s mini music festival, the Chorlton Weekender.

Mull Historical Society

The second day of this musical marathon featured Mull Historical Society and Chew Lips.

Now to my mind Mull Historical Society, aka Colin MacIntyre, is actually the bigger name of the two – he’s been releasing guitar-based indie records for over a decade and famously collaborated with Tony Benn. However, he was first on tonight (Colin MacIntyre, not Tony Benn), albeit with a 10-song set that’s much longer than your average warm-up.

Nevertheless, he seemed genuinely happy to be part of Chorlton Arts Festival and dropped in plenty of crowd-pleasing references to Chorlton throughout. For me, the set highlight was a full-blooded version of Public Service Announcer about his time in a dead-end job, which he dedicated to ‘my manager Bill who was straight out of 1984…and the people of Chorlton’. Yes, it struck me as a bit odd too.

He also put his all into old indie favourites Watching Xanadu and The Final Arrears (minus the Shipping Forecast), and catchy new song The Lights. He’ll be touring Manchester in the summer, playing all four Mull Historical Society albums, and on this evidence it’ll be worth watching.

Chew Lips

After a short break, Chew Lips hit the stage. I’ll admit I didn’t know much about this dance-pop group beforehand, but the way St Clement’s Church quickly filled with fans suggested I was in the minority. They got their break on French dance label Kitsune Records (a fantastic label, by the way) and their electro-tinged tracks certainly got people moving.

The best thing about Chew Lips is the vocals of their singer Tigs. When they get it right, on tracks like Solo and Salt Air, they’re up there with Goldfrapp and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. But a lot of their tunes seem to merge into one another, and I would’ve liked to hear them push themselves with different tempos and rhythms.

They did produce an inspired moment between songs though. When a member of the crowd yelled out ‘Jesus is watching’, Tigs hit back with ‘That could be quite insulting to some people’ before raising her eyes to the heavens and asking ‘Are you there?’

It was the perfect reminder that St Clement’s Church is not your average gig venue – and it’s all the better for it.

My rating: 7.10

The North West Spring Wine Fest is fast becoming a regular fixture in the Manchester events calendar. As the name suggests, it’s basically a chance for north-west wine merchants to get together and show off their latest vintages to the public.

Now the annual spring wine festival is actually the little brother of the Big Indie Wine Fest, which takes place every autumn during the Manchester Food & Drink Festival (the next one is in October 2012). So it features a lot of the same merchants – hangingditch, Harvey Nichols, Pacta Connect, Cork’s Out, Origin Wine & Spirits – and the same relaxed format.

What is the Manchester wine festival?

When you buy a ticket (about £10), you get access to the main event – rows of merchants all keen to offer you free wine tastings from the dozen or so different bottles they’ve brought along (yes, that’s a lot of free wine). There’s no hard sell, though you’re welcome to buy if you want. But the best part is just trying the samples and talking to the merchants.

Wine people have a reputation for being elitist and pretentious but, no matter how dumb my questions, I’ve always found the Manchester wine festival exhibitors incredibly friendly and helpful.

There are also wine-tasting masterclasses that give you a better appreciation of one aspect of the wine world. These can focus on anything from examining how to match wines with food to exploring lesser-known nations like Japan and Croatia. Basically, an expert gives an hour-long talk on the subject and illustrates his points with a selection of samples. Wine-tasting masterclasses cost about £4 each and they’re (usually) well worth the money.

North West Spring Wine Fest 2012

The North West Spring Wine Fest 2012 is my fourth wine festival in Manchester (I know, I know). It was pretty much business as usual this time, although I was relieved to see a greater emphasis on food than previous years. The delicious Manchester Egg sold out in record time, while there were also generous free samples given out by The Cheshire Cheese Company and The Bakerie. Exactly what was needed to soak up the alcohol (don’t get me wrong, I still got very drunk).

St Peter’s Church, Ancoats

However, the biggest revelation was the venue. For the first time, the Manchester wine festival was held at St Peter’s Church, Ancoats. I’ve never walked round that part of Ancoats before. It’s only five minutes’ walk from the Northern Quarter, but to my sheltered mind the other side of Great Ancoats Street feels like the end of the world.

I was wrong.

In fact, that part of Ancoats is filled with history. I’ve learnt it used to be known as Little Italy, and we’ve got those Italian immigrants to thank for bringing ice cream to Manchester! You can still see traces of this past in buildings like the Ice Plant, which was home to a great pop-up exhibition on Factory Records when I went.

The Little Italy area of Manchester has just been regenerated, with the centrepiece being St Peter’s Church – the authorities have done a spectacular job renovating this once-derelict church and the spacious square outside. St Peter’s Church proved to be an outstanding venue for the wine festival and I hope to return again soon.

West Didsbury returns to normal

However, the construction workers are now gone and Burton Road has finally reopened to traffic. To celebrate, traders in West Didsbury threw a party earlier today (Sunday, 15 April 2012). In truth, it was fairly quiet when I went down – probably due to the fact the event was arranged at very short notice. Nowhere near as busy as WestFest, for example, which gives the big Chorlton festivals a good run for their money.

Burton Road reopening party photos

Still, it’s good to see West Didsbury’s main shopping street open again and I hope the local independent shops get back on their feet quickly. Here are a few photos I took from the Burton Road reopening party of A Taste of Honey deli, Reserve Wine Shop and Burton Road: